Surface Color
by SilverCrystal Tears
Summary: GoodytwoShoes Lily isn’t everything she appears to be when she saves James’ mom from potential rape and pays dearly for it. Where does Lily go sometimes at night when she isn’t in her room? James is determined to find who she really is.
1. cy 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**Goody-two-Shoes Lily isn't everything she appears to be when she saves James' mom from potential rape and pays dearly for it. Where does Lily go sometimes at night when she isn't in her room? James is determined to find out where and why and who exactly Lily Marie Evans is.**

* * *

This was James' first time on a case with his mother. He may just be entering his 7th year at Hogwarts but his mother thought his skills good enough to take him along as a partner on an illegal use of magic case.

Their job was to infiltrate the underground club **'Bone'** and find out if there is illegal magic going on. Anna and James entered the dingy club and started to look casually around.

The normal drunk muggles and the occasional wizard by the look of it. Suddenly Anna stiffened as a knife pressed against her throat. James drew his wand and muttered a stunning spell but nothing happened.

'What the hell!' The man holding Anna chuckled, "no magic can be done in my magic barrier little boy." The mans raspy voice chuckled, amused.

"Since it seems you too have nothing to offer why don't I take this little chick and I'll let me friends take you boy." Several men came over and grasped James' arms.

James struggled but the man pressed the knife to his mother's throat and drew blood. "Keep that up and I'll slit her pretty throat you-" He was cut off as a knife flew out of nowhere and hit the wall less than an inch from his face.

"Let them go Jerome." A sultry voice said from the shadows. Jerome smirked, "why should I Shadow? You never have any interest in what I do. Plus I like this one and since you won't give me yourself why should I give her up?"

A woman came out of the shadows and looked the guy in the eye, "let them go and you get me for a night. No one goes after them and you get me to do as you wish as long as you don't kill me."

Jerome's eyes darkened wickedly, "I want by your honor Shadow so you don't try to escape." The woman looked disgusted and said, "Fine I swear by my honor I won't escape/leave until the light of dawn."

Jerome grinned and let Anna go and signaled his minions to let James go. James looked at his savior and barely suppressed a gasp of surprise. It was Goody-two-shoes Lily from school.

Everyone knew Lily since she hated the Marauders and followed everything by the rules. She was a teacher pet and top of her class.

The last place James expected her to be was in this crappy bar, wearing a black leather skirt that went to mid-thigh and a wrap-around black tube top showing off her pierced midriff.

In her hand was a switchblade that was opened and pointed at Jerome. She turned her head and her blazing green eyes meant his own, "get the hell out of here before he changes his mind you idiots.

Don't come back either cause this isn't a place for Nobles." Anna got the drift and shoved James out the door. The moment they were out James strained against his mother, "no we have to go back in and get Lily.

Not leave her there with that monster." Grimly James' mother dragged him out of the ally where they mingled with the crowd.

_

* * *

_

_Damn_. That was the only thing on Lily Evans mind at the moment. It was a week since the trade off for the Potters' lives and her own honor. Jerome not only raped her but he beat her, sliced her, and did every thing in his power to hurt her.

She had mended for the most part but he had broken every damn bone in her body with the exception of her spine. She had a very slight limp in her left leg since it had been broken before that would go away with time and a few remaining bruises.

But what cost her the most was that she had a scar on her face, just under her jaw, where he had scraped his knife on her. She had scars but they could be covered up easily. It was pretty small but annoying.

While she normally dressed in a tank top for the train ride, she was wearing an emerald green, thin, long sleeved shirt with her favorite black flare jeans with holes in the knees.

She was in the Head carriage of the train and was finishing braiding her hair since she had left in kind of a rush. She had had an assignment from her only friend and mentor Alastor Moody and had needed to get it done quickly before school started and she hadn't finished with her wild mass of hair.

With her braid finished she leaned back onto the wall of the cabin. She was weary and it had nothing to do with her lingering injuries. She had lived on the streets since her stepfather had raped her when she had been 7.

Moody had found her and her unique magic when she had been 8 and had started training her. She was weary from all the fighting, all the death and destruction, and all of the memories.

**Flashback**

"_Daddy?" A 3-year-old Lily whispered from the closet where her father had told her to hide. Her mother had gone to work a while ago and people had come into her house when her and daddy were playing with her cool power of lifting things. _

_He had told her to hide and she heard things crashing and breaking in the kitchen. Finally she couldn't wait anymore. She rushed from the closet and into the kitchen as a knife came out from the drawer and embedded itself in her daddy's chest. _

_He fell and a man came from out of the shadows with a wand, something her father always had with him. The man came forward with a sneer on his face. Lily was grief-stricken and stared hard at the man with menace and anger in her young eyes. _

_The man laughed and said, "**Avada Kedavra**." The green light came forward and words popped into Lily's mind, "**Francistos**_ _**Amorha**." Purple light came from Lily's outstretched hand and sliced straight through the green light and hit the man dead on. _

_The man's eyes widened with surprise and pain as he fell to the ground, dead by his own curse. Lily ran over to her father, "daddy!" She fell to his side. _

_Her fathers cobalt blue eyes were darkened with pain as he looked into hid daughters eyes. He reached into his jeans and pulled out a small golden book, "keep this, my flower. It will help you through years when there is nothing left." _

_He took a painful breath and looked into his daughters scared, green eyes, "I love you honey and I will always be there with you. I love you Lily, good-bye." Her father's eyes closed and Lily screamed, "DADDY!"_

**End flashback**

Lily shook her head to dislodge the painful memories that kept creeping up. The past stayed in the past and she could do nothing to change it.

The door to the Heads cabin opened and she seen messy black hair and suppressed a groan. Why Dumbledore, why torture her. Then with a mental sigh she stood, this was going to be a long year.

James was relived to see Lily sitting in the Heads cabin. She seemed more…wary then the last time he had seen her. Then again he had found out Goody-two-shoes Lily wasn't everything she appeared to be. James looked at her when she stood and noticed the very slight wince. What had Lily paid for him and his mother's mistake? "Lily-"

"don't Potter. The trade was done and you and your mother weren't hurt. Lets get this done with so I can take a nap." With that said she pulled on her robes and stepped into the room with the waiting prefects.

Lily flopped down on her bed in the Head chambers. Life was hell. After the meeting she had escaped to her own compartment to escape the Marauders. After awhile she put an Imperious Charm on the door since James and Remus insisted on talking to her.

She had petted the Threshels that were pulling the carriages, whom she had been able to see since she had come there. Then she had to face the entire Great Hall when Dumbledore had called out her and James' name for announcing the Heads.

After the normal prank and seeing the Head rooms, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter (**_he's going to be about non-existent for my fic cause I don't have a part for him and don't like him_**) had come and raised hell in the Head common room to the point Lily glued them together with a sticking charm and banished them to the Gryffindor common room right in front of the fire where they would hopefully melt.

Lily sat up as she heard a yowl from the mirror in the far corner of her room. Two panthers came out of the mirror followed by a house elf. "Mimi! Leo! Tear!" The panthers, Leo and Tear, yowled again and hoped on the bed with her to lick her in welcome then settled down.

The house elf hugged Lily hard, "Lily! The cats said you had a hard time this summer and asked this Mimi to bring food." She appeared with food and Lily could have kissed her. The feast had been too loud for her and she hadn't eaten much.

She chatted with Mimi for an hour before she had to start her duties and left. Lily lay back on the bed, a cat on each side of her. Well this was better. Leo and Tear would forever be her friends and loved her dearly.

She smiled as she slipped off to sleep thinking of her magical animal friends.

**Review**


	2. cy 2

** Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

The next day Lily sat in Transfiguration bored as hell. She knew this inside and out, how to transfigurate an inanimate object, turn someone into an animal, yada, yada, yada. Suddenly she caught a piece of paper airborne for her head out of reflex.

She glanced at the Marauders and they looked as innocent as the day they were born. One of them threw it. They just plain weren't innocent. She opened the letter,

(_James_) (**Sirius**) (Remus) (**_Lily_**)

* * *

**Goody-two-shoes Lily done anything bad lately? Forget your homework? Forget to suck up to a teacher? Please tell!**

Lily rolled her eyes and kept a firm grip on her temper. She took out her wand, keeping a good eye on McGonagall; she tapped the sheet of paper and concentrated on the piece on Sirius' desk and muttered,** "**_Notorlis"_ Pleased she wrote on the paper

_**What the hell do you want Black?**_

**Why Goody two shoes I didn't know you knew this charm. It wouldn't have a use for you.**

**_There are a lot of spells I know that normally wouldn't come in handy but can be satisfying._**

Now, now lets please be nice and not make not-so-subtle threats

_Why its fun reading their bickering._

**Now Goody two shoes, that isn't a nice thing to say you should live up to your name and drool after my perfection while being good.**

**_What use is perfection when you can't prove it? There are spells that can be done to take off that proof of Manly hood. And I know quite a few._**

She is going to cause permanent damage to him Prongs of the worst kind we have to stop them!

_You do have a point there Moony Lily Sirius be nice little children._

**Stay out of it!**

**_Stay out of it!_**

_You try Moony I'm just going to get my head bit off._

* * *

"Mr. Black! Miss Evans! Since you too aren't even trying to pay attention, Miss Evans please turn Mr. Black into an animal. Otherwise I take off 30 points to Gryffindor."

Lily let out an evil grin at Sirius, who gulped. Lily stood and pointed her wand at Sirius, "_Flobberoulis" _Light green and yellow light shot out of Lily's wand and Sirius, knowing what she was turning him into, tried to get out of the way but he was too slow.

The light engulfed him and when it died down even Professor McGonagall laughed. A rather large flobberworm lay on the floor where Sirius was standing. The only sign that the worm was Sirius was the black streak of hair down the flobberworms back. Someone took a picture with a muggle camera and when McGonagall could stop laughing she asked Lily to turn him back.

"I don't know. He looks a lot cuter like this." At a fierce look from McGonagall she changed him back. Sirius was furious and immediately pointed his wand and Lily and yelled, "_Stupefy"._ The room went deadly quiet. 'Oh shit' James thought. The spell went towards Lily and she pointed her wand at it, "_Reflectio_."

McGonagall gasped and the stunning charm hit something and got a bright red and shot straight back at Sirius ten times more powerful. By the looks lethal, McGonagall tried to defuse it but her efforts were in vain.

Sirius braced for it but a millimeter from his face the spell stopped. Sirius opened his eyes and seen the red of the spell.

Lily walked forward, her face a mask of nothing, "don't ever throw a spell at me, Black, and expect it to hit. Just expect it to piss me off." The bell rang and with a swish of her wand the stunning spell disappeared and Lily picked up her bag and left the stunned class.

* * *

The rest of the day went by with the whispered gossip about what happened between Lily and Sirius. During the rest of the day Sirius tried many times to get back at Lily with pranks but each of them backfired onto him.

It was about nine and Lily was tired of homework. Her ribs hurt like hell and she was hungry. So making sure James wasn't hiding in the room she went to the mirror beside the fireplace, "_Alronzo_" and the mirror wavered and she walked through her reflection.

The tunnel was long and winding and she soon came to a six way cross. She took the one heading southwest and soon came to a tile door. She pushed it open and walked into the bustle of the kitchens.

Mimi came rushing up to her, "Lily, Lily do you want you usual Lily?" With a chuckle Lily nodded and Mimi went bustling off to get Lily's normal after dinner, dinner. Lily made her way over to floor in front of the hearth and was surprised to see James sitting there already with Sirius.

When they heard the slower than normal for house elves foot steps they turned and Sirius' eyes went molten, then he sneered, "well, well, well Goody-two-shoes Evans decided to break another school rule and came to the kitchens. I wonder-" "Shut up Black.

I've been coming to the kitchens before you even knew where the hell the food came from." To prove that four house elves including Mimi came bustling over with many platters.

They set the food down and bowed to 'Miss Evans' and said that her normal dessert would be ready when she wished for it. Sirius and James just stared in disbelief as Lily uncovered the platters to everything from gourmet chicken to Pizza with the works.

She was about half way through spaghetti when she seemed to notice them staring. She swallowed a gulp of Mountain Dew and asked, "What?"

James just shook his head. He was seeing more of the Lily Evans he didn't even know existed in the past few months than he had ever, "its just that you have beaten Sirius' record of eating by mass and by time now."

Lily shrugged and started on her dessert, chocolate ice cream cake, and said between bites, "I eat to my hearts content the way I want to eat and how much of it I want to eat. I'm hungry now like I always am after dinner so I come here and eat what I want to eat regardless of records."

She polished off the cake and a fourth Mountain Dew and stood. Mimi came rushing over, something in a bag in her hand, "Lily before you go can you give this to Leo and Tear? I promised them it when we got it."

Perplexed James and Sirius watched as Lily accepted the bag kissed Mimi on the cheek and went straight into a part of the tile on the far wall. James went over to inspect it and found just wall.

"Well hell, it seems Evans is more than we thought. You better be careful Sirius." Sirius nodded and they both exited the kitchens wondering who the hell Lily Evans really was.

**Review**


	3. cy 3

** Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**   
The week went by and James noticed Lily's routine was slightly odd. She was never in her room or in any of the common rooms after classes and she never showed up for any meals but breakfast. 

He wondered where she went. Sirius meanwhile, was on a kill-Lily rampage that caused him and Remus to stay away. Far away. Peter had to go home since his mom had gotten into a car crash so it was just the three.

Sirius was acting really scary to even James' standards. He was huddling in the Gryffindor dorm room over the Marauders map and pouring over books. This was scary since Remus always did the research for their pranks.

But Remus had tried to talk to Sirius and Sirius had snarled at him and told him to go away if he didn't want cursed to hell. Remus had retreated for the good of his health and both him and James had stayed out of Sirius' way.

Unfortunately what Sirius was planning, and about to act on, was going to set off a chain of events that was going to rattle the Wizarding world. It was breakfast two weeks since Sirius' behavior had started and James and Remus were uneasy and wary.

Sirius had a glint in his eye that yelled trouble. The teachers had noticed his behavior also and were wary, even Dumbledore. At that moment Lily walked into the Great Hall with her bag over her shoulder and her hair in its usual braid.

Sirius muttered something and a large projection, about 50 feet in the air and very big so that everyone could see it. On it showed Lily's worst and most humiliating and shame filled moment.

That had been the spell to show a person worst memory. The hall went dead silent and Lily froze. On the screen it showed her being raped by that man that her mother had married. Every detail, every scream, every agonizing moment.

Sirius had gone dead white cause he hadn't looked to see what Lily's worst memory was. The bag dropped from Lily's shoulder and her emerald green eyes that were normally emotionless darkened to a deadly red.

The temperature in the room soured. Lily raised her hand and with a flick the screen disappeared with her agonizing screams. She slowly walked over to where Sirius was standing, like a deer caught in the headlights, frozen.

Dumbledore stood, "Miss Evans please do not-" he was cut off with a wave from Lily's hand and a silencing charm. She stalked over to where Sirius was standing and picked him up bodily by his collar and tossed him, hard into the wall.

He made an indentation in the stone slid to the floor. Things were starting to melt as the room temperature was averaging somewhere around 120 degrees and people were scared cause this wasn't the Lily they knew, this was a Lily that had finally lost her temper.

People ran from the Great Hall but James and Remus stayed. McGonagall was trying her best to take the silencing charm off Dumbledore with no anvil. The other teachers were trying to get Lily away from Sirius where she was literally beating him to a bloody pulp but there was a barrier that not even Flickwick could take down.

Then Lily stood back and pointed her finger at Sirius. A purple sphere of light ignited the tip and it was pointed right at Sirius' heart. _"Don't do it Lily._" A voice whispered in her rage filled mind, _"Do you really want to become like me Lily? Remember what I taught you Lily. Don't give into your rage or you will end up on the wrong side of the line."_

The voice again repeated softly in her red hazed mind. That voice, of comfort, of remembrance, cut through her rage and let her see color again. Her cousin was right, she didn't want to end up like him even though she loved him; she didn't want to end up like him.

The light died at the end of her fingertip and her eyes went back to their normal emerald green. The unbearable temperature went down and things stopped melting. The rage was still there.

Still potent. She had to leave unless wanted a lifetime in Azkaban for murder. She whirled and left the Great Hall stopping briefly to take the Silencing Charm off Dumbledore.

She stalked out and into the Forbidden Forest and meant up with Leo and Tear, "_what's wrong_" chorused in her mind through their telepathic path, "_he went to far and I nearly killed the mutt. Tom pulled me out of it but it was near and I need to work it off._" Understanding the cats leapt at her and she wrestled with them both to take the edge of her rage off.

* * *

Sirius had to be put in the Hospital Wing for various broken bones and bruises. James and Remus were unsympathetic since he had done something so stupid, even for Sirius, that he deserved what Lily had done to him. They had been about to look for her when Mad-Eye-Moody came in. 

He looked scared and worried, "where is she? I felt her power through the mirror break out, where the hell is she Dumbledore!" Dumbledore turned to Moody; "at the moment I have no idea since she took off to keep from killing Mr. Black for a stupid and lethal prank." Moody paled, "he showed her past didn't he?

He used that damn remembering charm and brought up her worst memory. Damn!" Dumbledore raised an eyebrow, "you know Miss Evans personally Alastor?"

Moody whirled, "of course! She's been working with me for five years now! Of course I know her and I also know that something big like that had to piss her off enough for her to lose her cool. She can't lose her cool."

"Why not?" Moody turned to James, "because of her heritage her power is different than everyone else's but my own. Her power, instead of running off energy like everyone else's, runs off emotion.

This means that if she loses her temper, her temper connects with the element of fire since psychic's powers are connected to the element, that causes fires to erupt, or if she has a shred of control left in her, for the room to get super hot. The same goes for sadness, happiness, depression etc…

If she doesn't have full control on her emotions then the world goes to hell." Dumbledore stood and slowly made his way over to Moody, "that kind of power was in my school and you didn't tell me!"

Dumbledore was trying to keep his rage quiet, "think Dumbledore!" Moody shouted, "It's the same thing as to why Lupin hides that he is a werewolf. If word got out that Lily had this kind of power then she will be feared, used, and hurt. I am the only one other than her cousin I have never met that knows of what she is capable of!

That is why you weren't told. She had control when she went off to her first year or I wouldn't have let her. She refined it a year later and became Shadow." James remembered how Jerome had called Lily Shadow.

Now he understood. "She didn't want everyone to know that she lived on the streets and had power of that magnitude." Moody nodded towards James, "yes she saved your ass a while back from what she told me.

She is Shadow of the streets and she is Shadow of the legends. I tell you all this because you deserve to know. Lily is off doing something to work off her temper until it is safe to come back with out melting something." Moody turned to Dumbledore, "let me stay Albus so I can talk to Lily when she gets back. "

Dumbledore didn't say anything for a while then nodded, "you can stay in the spare room in the Head Chambers." They all then left but James hoped Lily would come back soon. He was worried.

* * *

Miles away in an old house on a hill, Voldermort sat, twirling his wand in his hand. He had felt Lily's rage, humiliation, and shame. He had killed that bastard. The bastard that raped the only one he cherished in his life. Lily, his cousin. When Lily and her whore of a mother had taken to the streets she had met him.

They had bonded easily, the man looking for followers and the girl who was trying to survive. They had recognized the blood bond in them and had become as close as brother and sister.

Then one night two years after he had meant Lily and she had refused to join the dark side, he had found her lying bloodied, beaten, and torn in a dark ally. He had never felt that kind of rage or that strong of one.

He had tended to Lily while she told him what had happened. When she was asleep he had went to where her mother and stepfather stayed. Turned out her stepfather was his traitorous father.

He had killed both of them with glee for hurting both him and Lily. Lily had stuck with him even after Moody took her in for training. Because of Lily they had a connection she normally kept closed since he was of the dark side and she wanted him to have no favors. They loved each other as a brother and sister did.

He seen what that Black had done to her and decided she had dealt with it easy enough. He also knew that he would battle her someday he knew. It was inevitable. He loved her and they both knew that one day he would kill her.

He too had seen the vision and knew what would come to pass. It seemed he would be paying a little visit to Hogwarts.

**Review**


	4. cy 4

** Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

Lily lay in a small meadow in the Forbidden Forest with Leo and Tear at her side. They had wrestled and fought until the edge of her anger had receded. She wasn't embarrassed at the school knowing she had been raped. It didn't matter.

That had been the thing that Tom had told her when she had started to go into depression after she had recovered. 'You can't change the past anymore than you can change the present.

You could change the future and you know that the most since you have most of the Seer blood in our veins. Choices make up the future but not the past. Dwell in the past, Lily, and your future will be bleak and colorless.'

Those were his exact words, she mused as she stared at the stars. When she had come across him in the ally all those years ago she had sensed the darkness in him. The sheer amount of it had frightened her but she had seen things that would make any sane person plead suicide so she had confronted him.

They had talked and found the blood bond. He was feared in the Wizarding World as Voldermort but she didn't fear him. When she had finally let him into her heart their Seer blood had activated and they had seen it, her death and the death of her soul mate that she didn't even know. Her death at his hands.

They had accepted it and cherished the time together. So for the first time in a while she reached out through their mental connection, shielding her thoughts from him, and spoke, "_Tom?" "Lily. Are you alright?"_

She smiled at his voice, "_yes I am alright now Tom. I thank you for stopping me in there. It seems the legendary temper that runs in our blood took advantage of me."_ She heard his mental laugh, "_Of course blame it on the temper. Just be careful Lily. I see what will happen and the dark side is not for you. _

_Be careful you don't come over unconsciously." "I will Tom. I love you. Take care." "I love you too Lily. Take care yourself and get out of that forest and into the castle where it's warm."_

She chuckled at his demanding tone he always took when he wanted her to do something. She stood and motioned to Leo and Tear, "_I'm heading in. Thank you for helping me work off my anger. I'm sure Mimi has a treat in the kitchens for you two." _

The panthers made a feral grin, which made a lot of teeth into the concoction and said their thanks and took off. Lily made her way through the forest like it was her own room, watching she didn't step on any nests or traps.

She exited the forest and the crescent moonlight fell upon her graceful features. The clothes she had run off in had been scratched and bloodied with her battled with the cats and had to be disposed of.

She always had a spare in the meadow where she had them protected from the inhabitants of the forest. She didn't go into the Entrance Hall but into a passage way at the side that lead to the four way passage where she took the north to the Head Girl room.

She entered and immediately went to her dresser to grab clean clothes and entered the bathroom. IT was empty so she locked both doors and cranked the shower on as hot as it would go, tossed her clothes, and stepped under the scolding spray. She didn't even suppress the moan of joy.

James heard the shower go on and knew it was Lily. He went into the spare room and told Moody, who was talking into the fire to someone. He nodded and James left and waited in the common room for her.

She came down about 10 minutes later in black, hip hugger, flare jeans and a long sleeved red shirt. She looked from Remus, who had joined them earlier with Dumbledore, Moody, and them James himself. She cocked her hip on the arm of an armchair, "well I get my own personal reception committee.

Don't think I'm going to apologize for Black, I didn't kill him and he deserved it." Dumbledore nodded, "I understand that Miss Evans and I wouldn't ask that of you. Mr. Black deserved what he got.

But I have to ask, why didn't you kill him. It was clear that spell that was at your fingertip would have killed him if you had issued it." She looked at Dumbledore, "my cousin chose that time to pop into my head giving me the pros and cons of transforming my power like that.

It showed me why I don't kill, even for survival." She caught his questioning look and answered it before he asked,

"my power is so immense that if I do an act of evil, killing someone, torturing an innocent with out qualm, any act that would leave a blackened soul, it would cause the balance of my power to shift to darkness and it would erupt without the control I use to balance it and would cause darkness to flood the world and the elements to cause havoc and destroy the world slowly."

That explanation had everyone gaping. Dumbledore recovered first, "and you keep sane _how_?" She grinned, "Sheer will and love for my cousin and you Moody.

Now if we are done with this interrogation I assure you that my power is under control but if someone pulls another prank like that I can guarantee nothing. I'm hungry so I'm off to the kitchens so _adios_." And just like that she left the staring group after wondering what the hell to think of this new Lily.

**Review**


	5. cy 5

** Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**I have a special thank you to _pillowwolfpup _for all her reviews to Surface Color and Cheetah Girl. Thank you very much that you love my stories so much and that you reviewed them. **

**Now I am so sry I couldn't update for awhile. I am going to say that the people of SUCK! They took off my leading review story because it had one, counting one, aurthor's note in it. I have seen others with maybe 3! I am very pissed off at that and they locked off my account for a week! So I'm voiceing that was unfair in their prosacution of my fanfic when they took it off and locked down my account.**

For weeks after the Great Hall incident gossip, rumors, and death glares at Sirius soared through the air at Hogwarts. If it was possible Lily had become even scarcer to the point she showed up for classes most of the time, and Head meetings.

Other than that she was nowhere to be found. At one point James grew frustrated in his attempts at finding her that he got out the Marauders Map and looked for her on it.

He had tried it but instead, in emerald green ink words had appeared, "_nice try Potter_" and the map had resumed its normal looks. James had been astonished that Lily had been able to tap into the Map's power.

James had tried to follow her but she had easily lost him in Hogwarts maze of corridors. But full moon approached and the Marauders had to get ready for it. Remus was already in the hospital wing too weak to walk and sick with the side effects of the full moon.

Finally the night came James and Sirius (**_um…Peter is um… in a muggle hospital…um… getting a sex change so he can be Michael Jackson's twin, the dream he has had for all his life so he isn't at Hogwarts_**) slipped on the invisibility cloak and snuck inside the Whooping Willow to wait for Remus' change.

_**5 hours later**_

It had been a great time for the three. Remus had been relativity lucid so they had been able to explore all of Hogsmeade and even up by the mountain. They were heading back towards the Shrieking Shack when Remus stopped and went rigid.

Both Sirius smelt it a second to late, the scent of blood. Remus went wild and knocked James down, who had tried to hold him, and took off for the center of the village. James got up and raced after him with Sirius right behind him.

They reached the village and saw someone come around the corner. James' mind froze. No hell no. It was Lily. The one time he didn't want to find her she found him and a werewolf. James spotted the cut on Lily's arm that was slightly dripping blood and found Remus' attraction.

Lily looked up when she heard the pounding of hooves and paws to see Remus the werewolf barreling towards her. She cursed and put her hands up just as Remus reached her. Remus ran into an invisible barrier but animal instinct had him ramming it again.

Dust flew into the air as Lily was shoved back with Remus still ramming her shield. Suddenly there was a cracking sound and Remus broke the shield. Lily jumped as Remus ran forward and vaulted on the wolf's shoulders as he tried to take a bite out of her.

When she landed all James and Sirius could do was stare. Instead of Lily there was a black panther, sleek and powerful, with a red sheen the same color as Lily's hair in the moonlight. Remus turned and the panther and werewolf fought for dominance.

Finally Lily did something and Remus collapsed, unconscious on the ground. Two other panthers came out of the shadows, the smaller one with a dark blue sheen on black fur, and the other with a tawny sheen over black fur.

Lily sent them a look that asked if they were going to just stand there or help and they went over. Between the three panthers and Sirius and James they got Remus into the Shrieking Shack as the first rays of dawn pierced the blanket of night.

Remus made a noise between a human scream and a howl and Lily nudged him with her nose. The noise whispered down as Remus convulsed back into his human form. He was unconscious and panting but otherwise he looked fine.

Lily straightened and looked James and Sirius dead in the eyes, "_I hope I don't have to tell you idiots that if word of this gets out the shit is going to hit the fan and I won't be the one to go to Azkaban."_ Surprised at her voice in their heads they made animal nods.

Lily motioned to the other panthers and they left the Shrieking Shack with not even a whisper of noise. James and Sirius stayed until Madam Leper came to get Remus then they slipped inside Hogwarts.

By unspoken agreement they both entered the Head Common Room. Lily was lying on the couch with her bare feet propped up on the back, the fire going full blast. They cautiously made their way over to her and presumed her sleeping when, without opening her eyes, she said,

"Remus will be fine. I merely clawed him in a nerve to knock him out. No damage done though he will be more tired than normal since the wolf took over." Sirius was suspicious, "how the hell do you know this and why didn't we know you were an anagmi (**_I beg of anyone who takes pity on me to tell me how the hell to spell that. I am as lazy as they come so I don't feel like looking it up._**)."

Lily opened one eye to look at him, "I know because I have studied the subject thoroughly and wolf or no he still has some of the same nerves people have so I know where to hit. You didn't know I was an anagmi because I was one before I came here and I didn't want you to know."

She then yawned and stretched then sat up. James felt heat pull in his gut at the sight of her sleepy eyed and ruffled. He shook off the desire, not the girl for that, he remembered. "Now if you two are done I'm going to catch some sleep before classes so you two-" she broke off abruptly as something came through the air. It was faint but familiar. She just couldn't put a finger on it.

"What is it?" James asked the suddenly still Lily. She shook her head, "nothing, good night." With that she left the puzzled boys in the common room.

**Some odd miles away**

Voldermort twirled his wand. That had been close. Too close. She had nearly caught on to him. His beloved cousin couldn't know he was coming or else she would stop him. If anyone could stop it was his cousin.

He sighed wearily. Sometimes he wished his cousin were on the dark side so he could have some company he trusted. Then he wished he wasn't on the dark side so he could be by her side since he knew that she could not be on the dark side.

Voldermort shook off the mood and left the room to make sure preparations were on schedule.

**Review**


	6. cy 6

** Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

Lily went through the movements of the day but her mind was on something else entirely; that faint wisp of magic in the air. She had recognized it but she just couldn't put her finger on it.

It nagged her and she knew that it would nag her until she found it out. But, she sighed; she could not trace magic wisps. There had to be more of it or she could not trace it. The days went by and autumn turned into winter.

The corridors turned dark and drafty and the outdoor classes were hell frozen over. Leo and Tear had taken refuge in Lily's room where they were always welcome and Lily kept the fires going even when she wasn't there with an everlasting fire charm.

Classes were no problem but Lily had a dark feeling. Something was going to happen and when it did hell was going to break loose. But damn it her Seer blood wasn't letting her see anything and it was annoying her to death.

People soon learned to avoid Lily if they liked their hair the color it was and not singed or burnt completely off. Then disaster happened. James came down with a severe case of the flu and there was a very, very important game against Slythrin coming up the following day.

Problem: THERE WAS NO BACK UP SEEKER! The entire team was in frenzy about what to do. There was no way they could forfeit but that was what they would have to do if they didn't get a seeker soon.

Lily heard this and she _really_ needed something to lift her moods, she went to visit James with a proposition. James was lying in the hospital bed, looking pretty miserable and sick. She walked over and lounged against the door waiting for him to notice.

He did. He turned his head and his red-rimmed eyes widened in surprise. He tried to say something but all that came out was a hack. Lily shook her head, "_its better if we speak like this."_

James looked at her suspiciously then hesitantly sent back, "_why exactly are you here?_" Lily took a seat in the chair beside, "_I have a proposition for you since you are the Capitan of the Gryffindor Quidditch Team."_ James raised an eyebrow, "_and why would that interest you?"_ _"Believe it or not I am pretty good at the sport._

_Its sad watching your team try to find a seeker. How about I fill in this game. If we lose, you'll get to follow me on one of my haunts." _James' eyes took on a wicked light, "_but what if we win?"_

This was when she smirked, "_you get to do my homework for a week, and I take all N.E.W.T classes, for an entire week of my choice."_ James weighed the pros and cons and decided, "_deal." _

They shook hands and they both ignored the sparks that jumped at the contact, "_but why?" _Lily stood, "_I need something to do or I'm going to go insane."_ With that she walked out of the hospital wing, thus sealing James to a fate of a sleepless night he really didn't want to endure.

* * *

Sirius was speechless. Lily Evans was going to play temporary seeker at one of the most important Quidditch games of the year? This confused the hell out of Sirius, until he saw her play.

She hadn't said a word to their scoffs and muffled laughs. She had merely released the snitch from the case, waited a few minutes, and then launched off her broom. She had flown with the easy grace of practice and had stayed in the air for a few seconds before she dove, straight at Sirius.

All the while she was in complete control of her broom while diving at a 90-degree angle towards Sirius' head. Everyone had scattered except for Sirius who was rooted to the spot.

At the last second she pulled up so that she brushed Sirius' head be not an inch and when she came back up she held the snitch in her hand. That had all of the muffled snickers and scoffs dying into pure amazement.

They had thought that only James could pull off a move like that. So she was at each practice but no one else, with the exception of McGonagall, knew who their backup seeker was. Not even Dumbledore. The date for the match was coming quick and the team was getting nervous.

Lily didn't seem the least bit ruffled and always was at practice early and with the calm air of confidence. Finally the morning came and the entire team was nervous. They wouldn't eat anything and they had barely gotten any sleep.

But Lily wasn't in the least bit _worried!_ For the first time that year she came down to breakfast and sat at the Gryffindor table. She ate like a starving trucker, which had everyone staring in amazement.

Then they all filed down to the Quidditch field. Tension was all but shimmering in the air as the Gryffindor team piled into the locker room. No one had seen Lily come in with them but she was there. Sirius gave a pathetic excuse for a pep talk and they waited for the whistle to blow for them to come out.

It blew and they all flew out in a foray. There was a collective gasp as everyone saw who the backup seeker was. The game began and at first Slythrin led but that soon changed with Lily partially damaging the Slythrin seeker, Knott, by having him follow her right into a goal post.

The game went on and on and two hours later there was a sudden silence. Lily had dove with Knott not two feet behind her and steadily dropping. Then there was an eerie silence that had nothing to do with the match. 10 dementors filed down on the field, not making a sound or breath.

Lily suddenly pulled up where she would have hit a dementor had she kept diving. She had the snitch clasped in her had but her face was anything but triumphant. It was murderous and pain filled.

The dementors tried to get near a first year student who had come out to the field late. The kid was frozen in place, unable to move. Lily whirled on her broom but even if she would have dove she would not have made it there in time.

Dumbledore was trying to get there but he too would not make it in time. Lily pulled out her wand and pointed it at the dementor from 60 feet in the air, "Expecto Patronum". It wasn't said very loud but everyone on the Quidditch pitch heard.

An enormous white light erupted from Lily's wand. It took shape when it reached the ground. A white panther raced towards the boy and dementor. It leapt and bit the dementor's throat causing the dementor to screech an inhuman sound and disappear in a cloud of decay.

The cat did the same to the others and they too disappeared. Lily landed by the shell shocked boy and pulled out a Hershey's bar, "eat." Was all she said. The boy was barely able to get the chocolate in his mouth but he immediately looked better.

Lily turned her head to look where the dementors had come from. She had a sinking suspicion as to where they had come from and she didn't like it. _Tom, what are you up to and why?_

**Review**


	7. cy 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

Tom sat twirling his wand in his hand staring at the image in the crystal ball with satisfaction. Lily was suspicious about the dementor attack and the wisp of magic that had turned into his favor.

He knew he wouldn't be able to get close and keep himself from her notice so he took another route. She would know he was coming but would not know his intentions. He had decided it was time to act on fate and see what the hell happened.

A man with silvery blond hair entered the room. He bowed his head at Tom and said, "Everything is in place My Lord. We await your instructions."

Tom nodded win acknowledgement, "move ahead. I will be there in a moment's time. You are dismissed Lucius. Make sure everything goes as planned or it is your head." Malfoy nodded and left the room.

Tom put his hand on the crystal ball and smiled. His little cousin was in for a surprise.

* * *

Everyone was still celebrating the Gryffindor win with an extremely long party. James was still confined to the Hospital Wing but had heard all about it from Remus and Sirius. The teachers, on the other hand, were confused and nervous. The kids passed off the dementor attack as nothing but the teachers were worried.

Dumbledore had contacted the Ministry about the attack but they knew nothing of it. Lily, meanwhile, was not participating in either activity by student or teacher. She was in her room with a scrying crystal in front of her.

She sat back in her chair, an expression of grim resolve on her face. Tom was hiding something from her and she knew it. There would be a battle and she knew it. This battle would be the first of many. She sighed and rubbed her eyes. She didn't want to fight her cousin.

She loved her cousin with all of her heart but she would have to remember that this wasn't her cousin. This was Voldermort, the rising evil in the land and the man she would have to stall. It was not her place to defeat him, that much she knew.

She would end up stalling him for a few years at a big price but she knew that she was not the one to defeat him. The Fates would not show her whom would but that it would come to pass. Damn the Fates!

She threw the ball at the wall where it shattered into a million pieces. They wouldn't show her what she wanted or needed. She would go into this battle of destiny as blind as a newborn kitten with no knowledge of what would come.

She paced angrily on her floor trying to make sense of this puzzle. Leo and Tear watched her from the bed. When they made sure she wasn't going to set anything on fire, mainly them, they laid their heads back down and went to sleep.

Lily ran a hand through her frazzled hair. Damn it all to hell. She needed some food then some rest. Her head was starting to pound with tension and her stomach was rumbling with hunger.

She didn't feel like using the passages so she threw some Floo Powder into the fire, "Hogwarts Kitchens." She stepped into the fire and arrived in the kitchens. Mimi immediately came up to her,

"Lily! What is it you wish?" Lily smiled for the first time in hours, "nothing but the use of the stove and supplies Mimi. You go to bed and rest. I need to do something and right now cooking sounds good." Mimi nodded, "are you sure Lily?"

Lily nodded and Mimi waved goodnight and went to the house elf quarters. Lily drew out the supplies she would need for strawberry pancakes and started the mindless work. A tune she had heard on the American muggle radio sounded in her head.

It was by one of her favorite groups, Simple Plan. This was called 'Just a Kid' and it described her life almost perfectly. Plus it kept her from thinking too much.

_I woke up it was 7  
Waited til 11  
Just to figure out that  
No one would call_

_I think I got a lot of friends  
But I don't hear from them  
What's another night all alone  
When your spending everyday on your own!_

_And here it goes  
I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare  
I'm just a kid I know that it's not fair  
Nobody cares cause I'm alone and the world is  
Having more fun then me_

_And maybe when the night is dead  
I'll crawl into my bed  
Staring at these four walls again  
I'll try to think about the last time  
I had a good time  
Everyone's got somewhere to go  
And their gonna leave me here on my own!_

_And here it goes  
I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare  
I'm just a kid I know that it's not fair  
Nobody cares cause I'm alone and the world is  
Having more fun then me_

_What the fuck is wrong with me  
Don't fit in with anybody  
How did this happen to me?_

_Wide awake I'm bored  
And I cant fall asleep  
And every night is the worst night ever_

_I'm just a kid_

_I'm just a kid_

_I'm just a kid_

_I'm just a kid_

_I'm just a kid_

_I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare  
I'm just a kid I know that it's not fair  
_

_Nobody cares cause I'm alone and the world is  
Nobody wants to be alone in the world  
I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare  
I'm just a kid I know that it's not fair  
Nobody cares cause I'm alone and the world is  
Nobody wants to be alone in the world  
Nobody cares cause I'm alone and the world is  
Having more fun then me  
Tonight  
I'm all alone  
Tonight  
Nobody cares  
Tonight  
Cause I'm just a kid  
Tonight_

She chuckled over the lyrics and continued her pancake making. It was several hours later and over four thousand pancakes later that she came to halt. She washed her numerous dishes and left the kitchens via the passageway.

She was passing the passage that led to the Slythrin common room when she heard voices, "…yea he said to be ready at a moments notice." She recognized the voice as Avery Knott, the Slythrin seeker and a Death Eater.

They moved away and she couldn't hear anything else. So she was right. Tom was planning something and she too had to be ready at a moments notice. She went into her room and took a shower and changed to her PJ's.

She shoved Leo and Tear off and covered up with her comforter. It took only moments before she fell asleep but her last thought was that things were changing quickly and more was going to come.

Good and bad.

**Review**


	8. cy 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

It was several weeks after the dementor attack and life at Hogwarts had resumed its normal routine. Kids unwillingly got up, went to boring classes, ate, snuck out after curfew, slept, with the exception of Lily.

She was edgy, tension filled, and pessimistic. She looked as if she hadn't slept in about a year since she didn't bother with make-up and the purple bags under her eyes stood out on her tan face.

Even Mr. Binns had asked her about it when she didn't make her normal comments in history. Everyone had learned to stay the hell out of her way if they valued their sensitive parts.

Narcrissa Black had made the first and last idiotic mistake of taunting Lily, and Lily being very cranky and pissed off at the world, had let loose a spell that made Nacrissa…well…lets just say she wasn't exactly female anymore and was still in the hospital wing recovering.

One night Lily was actually in the Heads common room and he decided to approach her since she was just staring into the fire, "hey Lily are you feeling well?" She didn't look at him and continued staring into the fire as she answered in something remarkably close to a snarl, "do I _look_ like I'm feeling well?"

James gulped and answered, "ok stupid question. Let me rephrase that, is there anything I can do to help?" She flicked him a glance, "yea, take a damn knife to my heart and kill me." James gaped. Lily chuckled, "just kidding though I wouldn't mind. Sit James,

I'm feeling rather nice at the moment and promise your proof of being a male is safe." Cautiously James sat down at the other end of the couch and faced Lily, "so why aren't you sleeping?" She stared into the fire for so long that he thought she hadn't heard him but then she spoke, "that dementor attack meant more than what any of you intrepid it to be.

I can't tell you what it meant since that is a burden that I won't give you but I can tell you that hell is going to break loose soon and its going to change things." She shook her head; "damn I'm really not getting enough sleep if I'm talking to you Potter."

She stood and pressed her hand to her head as she swayed. James was up in a heartbeat and caught her before she fell. He heard a muttered "damn" as he put his arms under her knees and lifted her fully into his arms.

She tried to shake him, "I'm not a damn wimp you idiot-" "when was the last time you ate something more than a carrot?" He cut her off, demanding. She seemed to think for a moment, "I have absolutely no clue."

He started carrying her towards her dorm room. Since the Head Boy and Head Girl were trusted there weren't spells on the staircases like in the house dorms, "My point." He said, kicking open her door.

He laid her down on the bed where her emerald green gaze stared back at him in confusion, "now I'm going down to the kitchens and get you something to eat that is completely unhealthy and not good for you to eat so that you will at least get some energy back."

He started to leave but Lily's hand snapped out and caught his wrist. He turned and raised an eyebrow, "yes?" She looked really uncomfortable, "um…thanks a lot James…for…well…everything." She looked so uncomfortable that he laughed and knelt and kissed her.

The spark that always jumped between them whenever they were near leapt into a full-fledged forest fire. James had meant it to be a simple amused kiss but this…this was the stuff of his fantasies.

Unconsciously he pulled her up and closer to him as his tongue explored her mouth and then dueled with hers. When they broke apart they stood staring at each other, hazel eyes to green eyes.

Then the energy left her body and she collapsed in his arms, her body having finally decided that enough was enough and shutting her mind down. James gently laid her down on the bed and pulled the covers over.

He stared down at her for a moment then, his emotions still swirling inside his mind, he left the room, silently closing the door.

* * *

It was breakfast on Monday, two days after Lily's collapse and she still hadn't awoken. James had had Remus check on her a couple times, not trusting himself to go into the room and be a perfect angel.

He had finished his huge breakfast and was watching Sirius eat it with a detached sense of interest. Remus, whom had his feet propped up on the seat next to him,

(**_Peter is…um…he changed his name to Patricia and is now preparing for his wedding to Michael Jackson in a week so he isn't at Hogwarts. Feel free to send your…um…blessings.)_** was about to ask James if he was all right when there was a loud crash in the Entrance Hall.

The teachers all stood, wondering what it was. The next instant they were all blown off their feet, with the exception of Dumbledore, and slammed into the wall near the Gryffindor table. 13 people in dark cloaks strode into the room.

Instantly everyone screamed, knowing who the 13 were. 12 of the 13 used stunning spells on them all, knocking everyone out but Dumbledore, James, Remus, and Sirius. The 13th cloaked figure drew off his hood, revealing pale features and green eyes edging towards red.

Dumbledore immediately sent a powerful curse towards him but he dodged it with ease, "well Dumbledore, you are not the person I came to fight but you will do." The two men dueled together, locked in combat as old as time itself.

Then Voldermort drew back and aimed the Killing curse at Dumbledore, who had no shield, when the earth rumbled and threw him to the ground. He stood and looked towards the staircase, which was visible since the wall to the Entrance Hall had been destroyed, with a smug smile,

"I was wondering when you would show and I would get a real fight, cousin."

* * *

Lily's eyes snapped open as her body leapt out of bed. Danger, murder, all resided downstairs and the bloody Fates had finally decided to show her something so now she knew what was to come.

She was already dressed with a wave of her hand as she tore threw the secret passage she had opened. She reached the main corridor and raced from the passage and on to the staircase.

She saw the two men dueling and she now knew that the battle was to be now. She sent her power deep and created a small earthquake. It flung Voldermort to the floor, preventing him from killing Dumbledore.

He stood and looked up and smiled, "I was wondering when you would show and I would get a real fight, cousin." Lily walked down the stairs as she watched Dumbledore blink and look to whom Voldermort addressed.

Lily then stood opposite to Voldermort, her body shielding Dumbledore's, "your plan was clever, Voldermort, and it completely threw me off." She used his new name, knowing this wasn't her kind cousin, Tom, but the murdering wizard Voldermort.

She smiled a knowing smile, "now that you are here why don't you finish what you have started." He too smiled as they both raised their wands, "yes why don't I." Then the first spell was thrown and the first battle of many began.

**Review**


	9. cy 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

"_Crucio!" "Experlliarmus!" _ Spells went flying on both sides and met with frightening force. Power radiated in the room as the two beings circled and dodged curses, spells, and charms. Sirius raced over with James at his heels and helped Dumbledore out of firing range.

Moody appeared through the wreckage that was the Entrance Hall and watched Lily and Voldermort fight. Everyone else was out cold and could not see the duel. The three boys and Dumbledore watched the duel heat up then Voldermort used it. "_Avada Kedavra"_ The killing curse.

The curse went forward to a pinned Lily. Much to their surprise she held up her hand and said in a low voice, "_Francistos_ _Amorha"_ The curse hit a shield and repelled back. Voldermort was able to dodge it but found himself against a wall. Lily's eyes showed nothing as she raised her hand, "_Silverus Shadows"._

Shadows swirled around him and he fired a parting shot before he disappeared. Lily crumpled and fell to her knees, panting hard, with tears running down her face. After a moment she rose and waved her hand over the Great Hall, "_Enervate"_

The others started to rise as she dashed out of the room, tears still streaming down her face.

All Lily knew was that she had to keep running. This had been the first of many battles that the two cousins would fight but God it was like fighting her brother. Since he was the closest thing to it.

The only reason she had been able to send him away was the one time she had touched his mind when he was Voldermort. It had been completely by accident but she had seen the depravity, the rot, and the pure evil.

That more than anything had been the wake up call she had needed that told her that this was real and not some bad dream she was going to wake up from. As she entered the Forbidden Forest she morphed to her panther form and raced, as silent as a shadow, through the forest to the one place where she could lose it all for just a little while.

* * *

Everyone had been revived by Lily's reviving charm and was being herded into their respective dorms. When everyone had gone the three boys, Dumbledore, and Moody went into the Head Common room.

The moment the portrait hole was closed Moody rounded on Dumbledore, "what did she use? I have never seen a spell do that and I want to know what the fuck it is!"

Dumbledore seated himself on one of the couches and stared into the fire for a few moments before he responded, "that was the Shadow Mace Charm.

It is a charm that can use shadows, which some people believe are the essences of all life, for the castors bidding. Not even Profeesser Flickwick or myself can control that charm since it allows shadows to raid your mind for a split second before control can be established.

In that second madness often strikes the castor sending them into the world that the shadows live in, rendering him completely soulless for as long as his body lives. It is the ultimate charm and can be used for countless things.

Many have tried to control this charm before only to end up in madness. How Miss Evans was able to control it enough to send Voldermort away I do not know." He fell silent and continued staring into the fire.

Remus and Sirius slipped into two chairs by the fire while James remained leaning against the fireplace. Moody paced in agitation, "she never told me of this damn it! Why did she not tell me she could do this charm Dumbledore?"

But it wasn't Dumbledore who answered but James, "think Moody. If anyone, even yourself, knew she could do a charm that powerful, that useful, she would become a thing, something that is used to get or to achieve another's goal. She didn't tell you so that she would only have to use that charm when no other would do.

It goes back to that purpose you all have been teaching us since we got here. What is the point of magic if you can't do that same thing the Muggle way? Nothing."

Everyone stared at James in astonishment, except for Dumbledore who only said, "well said James. You took the words right out of my mouth." James shrugged and went to the portrait hole, "I'm going to go find Lily. I'll be back.

* * *

Lily danced. That was her exit. She danced until she couldn't move without collapsing. She had tried cutting but found she couldn't afford the blood loss. She didn't dare try drugs or drinking since she had to always be in control of her power, so she did the only thing that let her escape from reality, dance.

Deep in a town she had forgotten the name of a few miles away from Hogsmeade was a muggle dance club. Music from all over the world was played by a DJ so that teens danced to their hearts content.

Beer was sold here as was the occasional drug but all in all the place was clean. Lily had bought some clothes in town and she was now decked out in black leather strips that wrapped around her legs in spirals until about mid thigh when they became a skirt, and a silver halter top that left her back bare and tied around her neck and just under her breasts.

Her hair was in fiery tangles down her bare back and she wore simple black tennis shoes. Her eyes were closed as her arms were raised above her head as her body moved in a loose swirling rhythm.

The regulars here knew her as Shadow and the newbies were warned away from her. She danced in the throng of people ranging from 15 to 30 her eyes closed and enclosed in her own world where none of the previous hours had existed.

That was where James found her. By tracing some of her known paths and using bribery he had found this little dance club in the middle of no where. He had immediately found her in the packed room alone among the crowd of people around her.

She might not want company, he thought grimly, but there was a snowman's chance in hell that he was going to let her suffer alone.

* * *

Lily had come out of another song when someone came up behind her and started dancing rather close to her. Her first instinct to kick whoever was behind her ass but then she caught a whiff of his scent and she knew who it was; crushed sage, James.

What was he doing here… but at that moment he leaned close to her and whispered in her ear, "just let me share it Lily. You no longer have to face this alone. Let me help." So for once Lily relented and she closed her eyes again and pressed her body back into James', reveling in the physical contact.

His arms came around her bared waist and held her to him as they swayed to the dance. For once in her life Lily felt treasured. Tom had loved and cared for her but he hadn't treasured her as she felt now.

So she let the dam on her emotions go and shared it with James as she said she would, and completely let herself go into a music filled oblivion.

**Review**


	10. cy 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter **

**Warning! Warning! There is a severe lime warning for this chapter. I repeat the Sick Mind of SilverCrystal Tears Service has issued a severe lime for this chapter. Please take the necessary precautions for the warning above so SilverCrystal Tears is not responsible for the deterioration of a readers mind. Thank You.**

Lily had danced with James until she could barely stand. James helped her over to the door by supporting her body with his own. "Do you want to go back to Hogwarts?" Lily shook her head and replied in a hollow tone, "I have a place in town where I stay when I come here."

She gave him directions then her body just decided it had had enough and collapsed. She went unconscious and limp in James' arms so that he scooped her up off her feet and followed her directions to a small cottage just outside the town.

He undid the locking charm with surprising ease that told him that it was something more than it looked but waved it off since Lily was out cold in his arms. He walked through the place until he found her bedroom, done up in bold red, green, and blue with green satin sheets on the bed.

He gently laid her down on the sheets and undressed her. He pointedly ignored the heating of his blood at her naked body as he slipped the green sheet over her. He then stood beside her bed unsure of himself.

He didn't want her to be alone like this but would she appreciate him staying with her tonight or would she take offense and kick his ass? He didn't know which she would prefer so he went with instinct and took off his shirt and slipped into bed beside her. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her into the cradle of his body.

He buried his face into her hair and slipped off to sleep in the hope that she would be ok when she woke up.

* * *

When Lily woke up her first sensation was pain. From the exertion she had given her body the previous night her entire body was cramped. The second sensation was warmth. A hard body was pressed against her back and a muscled arm was wrapped around her waist.

She knew it was James a moment later after she considered how she was going to get it off. For a moment she forgot herself and turned in his arms to bury her face in the crease at his neck and shoulder. His warm body soothed her tensed muscles and had her relaxing.

She didn't know what it was about his boy but he warmed her insides and, for once in her life, made her feel safe. Carefully she slipped out from under his arm and stood. The world did a quick 360 before she caught herself and walked from the room.

She went to the kitchen and grimaced at the refrigerator. She knew that the only things that thing contained was a bottle of emergency whisky that could kill, and a three-week-old peanut butter sandwich.

She went to the phone and dialed in a number, "hey Marco. Yea its Lily, um can you pick up some things… Yea I forgot again. He he I know but I was busy! Thank you soooooo much Marco! I'll pay you double for it. Love ya!"

She dropped the phone on the cradle and turned to see James leaning in the doorway of the bedroom. His hair was as messy as ever and his eyes were half shut with sleep. Lily's blood heated as she looked at him in his rumpled jeans.

He ran a hair through his messy hair and glared at her, "its too early for you to be up." Lily managed a wan smile, "I'm a early riser. Hey…um…thanks for last night…I kind of needed it…" She broke off, her face going an interesting shade of pink as her emerald eyes suddenly found something extremely interesting on the floor.

James raised his eyebrows. The immortal Lily Evans embarrassed? Well he was going to pay this up to the fullest. "Yea about that, its time for you to pay up for my night of suffering by sleeping beside you with not a stitch on your body."

Temper kindled in her eyes and she looked up from the floor just as he reached her and crushed her mouth to his. All thoughts of a retort flew out of Lily's head as if they had never been.

All she knew was his firm lips on her, his taste that was so unique, his scent of crushed sage. So for the first time, the very first time, she surrendered. James sensed it as her body molded itself to him.

All of the blood in his body went below his belt, as did his reason. His hands were at her waist as he shoved her against the wall. His mouth took from her what she didn't even know she had as his hands skimmed her body to mold her breasts.

His thumbs flicked her now taunt nipples through the thin fabric of her halter. His mouth left the haven of her mouth and littered kisses along her jaw to trail down to the slim column of her neck.

Lily moaned at the sensations battering her body and mind and then gasped as James took a not so gentle nip where her shoulder and neck met. His quick hands had the strings of her halter undone so he could feel the flesh of her breasts. His mouth traveled lower to the swell of her breasts.

Lily's hands were in his hair as he took one taunt rosy nipple into the moist cavern of his mouth. Lily let out a strangled cry and arched towards them. James gave equal attention to the other and returned to her mouth where he was about to take off the pitiful excuse for a skirt.

Then someone knocked hard on the door. At first the sound didn't register but it persisted and Lily pulled away from James, "its Marco." She fumbled with the strings of her halter and raced to the door.

James listened to her fast conversation in Spanish with the man at the door as he tried to calm his raging blood. Dammit this was _not_ the time to become a hormone ruled teenager.

Lily was still recovering from the pervious night and did not need his frustrated desire to add to her list of worries. Taking a deep breath he listed off ten ways to kill Snape and when he opened them he could breathe again.

Lily walked into the room carrying four large brown bags filled to the bursting with groceries. She mumbled a muffled, "help me" and James went to take two of the bags. Neither said anything as they put the groceries in the fridge and cupboards.

When they finished James turned and opened his mouth to apologize but Lily placed a piece of duck tape on his mouth, "knowing you, you will interrupt me so this will work. If you had dared to apologize to me about earlier then I would have to kill you.

Those few moments of pleasure you gave me let me escape into something as simple as 'want' for a few moments. We won't make love quite yet for I believe there are something's that can't be ignored yet and I already care for you more than I should, James, so for now can we be friends with benefits (**_I love that term. Don't know why but I do._**)?

Please I really need a friend who won't judge me now." James looked at her and saw the need in her eyes. He nodded and indicated the duct tape. "Thank you!" She threw her arms around his neck and gave him a hug that almost cracked his ribs and then yanked the duct tape off.

He gave a yelp of pain and rubbed his mouth. She gave a wicked grin and then sobered, "I think its time you know what is going on." James opened his mouth to protest but Lily brought up the duct tape again and he shut his mouth with a click of teeth.

She nodded and went into the living room and sat down. He did too but she didn't put down the duct tape. When he raised an eyebrow she smiled, "silence is golden but duct tape is silver." (**_I saw that on one of my friends' shirt and loved it. I couldn't resist using it_**).

**Review**


	11. cy 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

Lily munched on an apple that had appeared out of nowhere and decided she might as well start at the beginning. Taking a breath she began.

* * *

"My first memory is of the smell of shit and weed. Not the kind of weed that grows in your mothers garden but the kind idiots smoke. I was about four at the time and I remember seeing my mother and some faceless john fucking on the sofa. 

Mother had just hit me because I had been crying from hunger and I had retreated to a dank corner in the murky room. There were screams down the hall and the sounds of my mother's moans and groans.

I was starving, and I had forgotten when the last time I had eaten was. My mother finished her 'job' a little while later and took the money, told me to stay there, and left. She came back two hours later, drunk and high, all money spent.

So if I wanted to live to see the next day I had to go and find some money. I wandered the streets begging since that was all I knew to do. I was able to collect a good amount and get myself some food.

When I came home my mother had just finished her hangover and had seen that I had eaten. She smacked me and yelled at me because I hadn't brought her the money. That was how it went for about two years.

I begged for food, and later learned to pick pockets, then came home to find my mother with another faceless john, out cold, or finishing a hangover. But that was paradise compared to what my mother did to me to get money for drugs.

At six I was a pretty girl considering where I had grown up at and some of her 'employers' had noticed me and had started grouping. I had smacked them away until they left but my mother noticed.

She made some offers that some perverts like. They get to fuck the kid or do a three-way for double her normal price. I lost my virginity though that little money making scheme two days after I turned six.

There was nothing I could do and this continued for about two years. Then on one particular job I got furious because my mother was sitting, rocking in the corner with a beer bottle, while I got raped.

Power I hadn't known existed was flung free and the idiot on me was beheaded. I still have nightmares. My mother was shocked at first but she said it _was_ natural since I was a pure blood.

At the time I had no idea what she meant but I soon learned how to harness that power but it wasn't easy. Then I turned nine and he came. At first I had deemed him another faceless john but he had power. Lots of power.

Him and my mother seemed to not be able to put out their little sexual flame. At the time he wasn't interested in me and I kept to the streets, stealing, learning the art of survival, hell just keeping away from that wrenched building. Then I met him.

At first I was wary since he was kind of foreboding but he too was trying to survive so we bonded. He found out about my magic and is seemed his was equally strong. We found the blood bond and found the connection.

My mother was the exiled sister of his mother but our blood was strong with Slythrin power. He was recruiting people to fight against the Ministry of Magic and the rest of the do gooders.

I had asked and he taught me all he knew of the magical world. I had met a man a few years ago named Moody who too had recognized my power and had asked if he could help me control it.

I then trained with him to help me control it even though him and my cousin were enemies. Two years past in this fashion and no one touched me unless I deemed it. My mother had pretty much forgotten about me unless her and her husband needed money.

Then I got my letter from Hogwarts stating I was to come here. By then we had established a bond so strong that we could communicate telepathically at will. He disguised himself and took me to get my things.

But something happened before I went. My stepfather had gotten fed up with my mother sexual wise but I was fair game. He had some sorts of obsession with her and I was the key. He found me one day giving money to my mother and he raped me.

This was worse than all the other times because he used a dagger because he was too small to do the job. In all of my life I have never experienced pain like that nor do I think I ever will. He beat me while doing it then left me to go to my mother.

I was able to drag myself out of the room and down onto the street where my cousin found me. He was furious but he took me someplace safe and took care of me. Then he went and murdered my mother and stepfather.

Funny thing was it turned out that my stepfather was his own father that had escaped him years ago. I stayed with him for two years until my third year. Then things started getting freaky with my cousin.

He had been dabbling in dark magic and had developed another side. An evil side that didn't give a damn. I moved out into my own apartment and visited him when I felt him sane. One time when I saw him something happened.

I have Seer blood in my veins from my father, whomever he was, and it awakened for some reason. It showed my death. I found that my death would be by my cousin's hand, as will my soul mates.

We were doomed to fight until that final day since I am the only one who will ever match him in power. We kept away then, talking when he was sane, me blocking him when he wasn't. Just recently he has decided that it is time we begin to duel.

I block our telepathic path so that he cannot see things that would be of use to him and vice versa. We will duel this way until I die and then some. There is nothing I can do and even with my Seer blood I cannot see whom will defeat him."

* * *

Lily closed her eyes for a moment and looked into James'. Hiding his horror he asked a single question, "who is your cousin?" Lily gulped and knew he had to know, "Tom Marvolo Riddle. Also known as Lord Voldermort." 

She watched as horror and fear fled into his eyes and Lily stood. "Now you know and can do with the information as you wish." She wouldn't show him her tears. That was one thing pride wouldn't let her do.

She started to go to the kitchen but a hand on her wrist stopped her. She turned back to James, "Lily…"

**Review **

**Chrys signing off**


	12. cy 12

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

Hogwarts had an unusual hush over it ever since Voldermort had invaded. A select few of the population actually knew what the hell had gone on. Lily herself had been silent, and by silent I mean she had not said a word since her and James had left her cottage.

When James had said her name he had just looked at her. She had seen the fear, horror, and revulsion in his gaze when he had looked at her. It had hurt her more than any emotional wound ever had.

James was the only one who knew, other than Leo, Tear, and Tom. She had told him he could do with the information what he wished to. Lily just wanted it to end. What she wanted was for Christmas break to come so Hogwarts wouldn't be so crowded.

_Astronomy Tower_

_December 25_

_Midnight_

Lily watched the snowfall from the sky with a kind of detached wonder. Christmas had always been a hard time for her since the only memory she had of her father was the day he died and she had used that Killing Curse counter charm.

She would not even tell James that. They had not spoken a word since returning to Hogwarts and she almost hoped it stayed that way. He had broken her heart, she mused as she stared at the black sky.

She had thought that she had protected it but she had been wrong. He had broken it when she saw the revulsion in his gaze. She could have handled the horror, even the fear, but not the revulsion.

She looked down sharply to see two birds flying towards her. The first she saw was Tom's traditional bird, a falcon, while the other was a white owl. They both landed and dropped their purchases.

Tear and Leo stirred beside her but she stroked their pelts to calm them to sleep again. She first opened up the white owl's package and was surprised to see a mirror. But the mirror was different/beautiful.

It was framed with silver molding, and encased with rubies, sapphires, and emeralds while the silver curved around them in an exotic pattern. But the mirror itself looked like it was made from frozen teardrops.

When Lily looked into it she didn't see herself, clad in a full white skirt and emerald wrap around top but standing in a wooded forest near a path. She wore ragged clothes and her hair was nappy.

She saw many scars she kept hidden from the world in bold display but there was a smile on her face and in her eyes as she turned to walk down the path. Her clothes changed from ratty to perfect and her hair was combed and washed in full curls down her back.

Lily closed her eyes to the image and when she opened them she saw only her own reflection. She pulled the small card out from the back and opened it. A soft smile came to her face when she read it.

_No matter what you have been through or whose blood runs in your veins you're still Lily Evans, who paved a way for herself, by herself. But sometimes it's ok to lean._

_James_

She wouldn't cry. She refused to. But James' apology touched something that he had awakened when he had walked into that dingy bar. She wouldn't take it yet, though. She hadn't survived in this world of danger and betrayal without being cautious of who she trusted and when.

Not why, when. Some people could be trusted at certain times but not at others. She needed to make sure that James was sincere and what the hell she felt for him. She set the mirror down beside tear and stroked the falcon.

He nipped her on the wrist in an affectionate gesture while she untied the package. She pulled open a small box and gasped. Inside was an ankle bracelet of pure silver. On it were four gems, a ruby, emerald, sapphire, and topaz.

But it wasn't the gems and purity that stunned her, it was the power. She reached inside the box and pulled out a note. She unfolded it to find her cousin's neat scrawl.

_Lily,_

_I fear I am going mad so I cannot predict what will happen to you. Please, take this bracelet for Voldermort wishes for it desperately. It was forged by Godric Gryffindor and spelled by all of the founders. The bracelet is spelled by the founders, for what no one knows. Please, guard this with your life, cousin, for I fear I have lost my sanity and Voldermort has an obsession with the founders and their artifacts. Please cousin keep it safe and may one day we meet again, you and I._

_With love, _

_Tom Riddle_

Lily stared at the bracelet in her hand in a mixture of fascination and horror. A bonder. She recognized the power but it was so much more than the pitiful ones she had felt before. What the hell did it bind to? Gold? Jewels? The secrets of Hogwarts?

Slowly she clasped the bracelet on her right ankle. She felt a rush of power swarm through her and closed her eyes. When she opened them she was looking at four figures.

Two men and two women. The one clad in a yellow top and straight skirt was kind of on the weighty side with gold eyes, golden hair, and a kind face. The woman next to her was skinny, tall with blue-black raven locks.

She had a raven's face that gave the look of severity and midnight blue eyes that were, surprisingly kind. The man next to her was tall, with dark brown hair, mahogany more like it, muscled frame that bespoke of outdoorsman, and kind brown eyes slashed with gold. The last was what you might call slippery.

He wasn't as tall as the man before him but he radiated power. Black hair was shaggy and had the illusion of greasy. A sharp nose with sharp, angular features spoke of the devil. But his eyes were pure hard emerald and were looking at her with a shrewd stare. She knew who they were but was too stunned to say anything.

The tall man stepped forward, "Lily Evans, you were the Bond of Hogwarts as you were meant to. Since you are a student in my own house I ask you this; do you take on the task so many others have failed and will break the curse we have placed on Hogwarts?"

Lily shook herself out of her stunned demeanor and answered guardedly/puzzled. "What do you mean curse?" The greasy man stepped forward, a look of amused respect in his eyes.

When he spoke it sounded somewhat like a hiss and she realized that he was speaking in Parseltongue. She was related to Tom, who was one himself so she could understand him perfectly, "_the curse we placed when we fought, then separated. The curse your cousin now carries_."

Her eyes widened, "what do you mean?" She whispered. The portly woman stepped forward now and said in a sad tone, "Godric and Salazar are polar opposites and thus treated each other like so.

When they dueled that last time and Salazar left a curse was placed upon the school. One of the same was to inherit their misplaced hatred and use it to destroy Hogwarts. Your cousin is heir to Salazar and is thus the bearer, where you, despite your power, are not."

Lily looked from one to another and said slowly, "So your saying I'm to somehow break this chain cycle right?" The skinny woman nodded and spoke, her voice whispery, "yes but you are not the bearer.

Tis' to soon. But your bloodline will be. You may be cousin to the dark one but you are in Gryffindor. As will your child, no matter what may occur." Godric again asked her, "Will you pave the way for the Gryffindor heir to destroy this curse?"

Lily gulped. Her son or daughter would be that paver, if she ever found her soul mate. But she would give them hope. She nodded. Satisfied Godric stepped back among the ranks.

She thought they were going to disappear but Salazar stepped forward first, "take this warning as you like but heed it. We will be here to assist both you and your child but you and your mate will be sacrificed. Not all will be lost though. Do not remove the bracelet at all costs. It is your key."

He straightened and looked down at her but said this time in Parseltongue so the others would not understand, "_Fight with your honor and fight with a cause, for if you should lose them then everything dear to you will be lost_." He stepped back and the founders created a circle. She saw what had brought them together.

The friendship and trust. She closed her eyes and a flash of light illuminated the air. She opened her eyes and smiled. Leo and Tear were confused and bristled as if for an attack. She just laughed and picked up the mirror.

She then called to the panthers and went inside, never once noticing the cold since it was about 8 degrees Fahrenheit.

**Review**

**Chrys signing off**


	13. cy 13

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

**For those that have asked, since I have gotten 3 reviews that have asked it, cy stands for absolutely nothing. I have many stories in different categories I haven't posted and I label the chapters in their folders under two letters I pick at random. It helps me, a completely unorganized person, be organized. So I repeat it stands for nothing.**

* * *

Sirius had watched the by play between Lily and James for a few days now. James had explained to him and Remus, 

(**_Patricia and Michael are now happily married and hiding out in L.A hoping they won't be noticed when they have been. A couple with golden brown hair walked by and the man turned towards the couple, "is that Michael Jackson and his new bride?" _**

**_His wife, Rachel Granger, nodded, "yea I think it is. Weird couple isn't it. The woman looks kind of like a man. A short man. Plus they need severe dental treatment also." Robert nodded as they moved on, "maybe we should ask them to consider making an appointment." They turned to each other, "nah."_**)

everything Lily had said and they had taken it reasonably well. But Sirius had seen the sexual tension between the two and now had a plan. First he had to be forgiven and that in itself would require some serious Sirius (**_forgive the pun_**) charm.

So one day after class he snuck up on Lily. Yea right. She stopped abruptly and turned looking him in the eye, "can I help you Black?" To any other girl Sirius would put on a melting grin and start charming away. This wasn't any other girl.

This was Lily. So he adopted a serious/sorrowful expression and looked at her, "I have a problem Lily." She looked at him, exasperated, "I've known that since day one Sirius Black. Now tell me something new or quit wasting my time." He nodded and kept up with her pace.

"You see lately I have been experiencing this periodic bleeding in a portion of my body I will not name. I, being _the_ Sirius Black, cannot go to my friends for fear of being shunned.

So I go to the only person who might be able to help me. You Lily. Um…Lily are you ok?" When Sirius had said he had been experiencing periodic bleeding in places best not mentioned she had choked on the Mountain Dew she had been sipping.

She was now hitting her chest taking great heaving breaths. When she could breathe again she turned emerald eyes to Sirius, "tell me you didn't say you were experiencing periodic bleeding in places best not mentioned?" Solemnly, he nodded and Lily leaned against the wall. "I fear to ask this but I need proof."

Then he grinned and Lily moaned, "I had to ask…" "Of course!" He started undoing his jeans. Lily had him by the neck in a chokehold before he could blink. "Please God don't do that!

I'll be scarred for life! Hell I already am but that will just drive me over the edge." Sirius pouted when she let him go, "hey I know for a fact that many girls are not scarred but want to see that portion of me. In fact many love ta-"

He was cut off abruptly by Lily grasping his throat, "TMI Sirius, TMI **_(too much information)_**." But he grinned and rubbed his throat when she let him go, "yet you are now talking to me now." She sighed and began walking now, "that is what this is about?" He nodded, "actually I wanted to ask you about James."

She shrugged, "what's there to ask? I know he told you and Remus what I told him so what's the deal?" Sirius slung an arm around Lily, "now you see, there's a little thing in this would called sex. You see…"

He trailed off as Lily gave him a ironic look, "you see Sirius, I know more about sex and the in's and out's than you could _ever_ comprehend let alone know." Using his free hand he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "ok skipping that. Now I will ask, why are you avoiding James?"

She looked at him like he was an idiot, "Sirius. My cousin is the most feared wizard in the entire world; I grew up with a whoring mother and am a professional pickpocket, assassin, and have power that not even Mother Nature can comprehend.

Any number of these talents or connections of mine can get James killed or worse. Now ask me why I'm avoiding him." Sirius scratched his head and got a gigantic grin on his face, "so you _care_."

Lily stopped at the entrance to the Astronomy Tower, which was empty, "duh." Was all she said as she shoved the door open, "So you're admitting you care for him." They started climbing the stairs, "of course I care for him you idiot.

But I can't afford to show it. I can't afford to care or to love because it will eventually cost that person their life." They reached the top and Sirius stopped dead at the sight of the two panthers that were lying on the concrete floor, asleep.

"Lily, who are they." She glanced towards Leo and Tear and walked towards the railing, "that's Leo and Tear, my two panther friends. You remember them don't you from the night Remus went cuckoo."

Keeping his distance he hesitantly chuckled, "yea forgot about them." Leo and Tear awoke at the scent of dog and eyed him with a mixture of amusement and hunger. At that look Sirius yelped and raced behind Lily.

Lily choked back a laugh and scolded the cats, "leave him alone. He's a friend of Remus'. Just because he's a dog doesn't mean you can antagonize him." With a silent shrug the two laid their heads back down and just watched Sirius with their blue and gold gazes.

Trying to ignore them Sirius turned back to Lily, "ok you have a point with the whole evil cousin and power things but come on Lily. The prophecy said that your soul mate and yourself will die, whether you date, sleep, or marry him.

It will make no difference anyway Lily. Why don't you date him? Then you can protect him from big bad cousin and you have control over your power." Lily turned back from where she had been wat

ching the sun set, "did you ever think of his family? I can't protect them from here. It's happened before and that is why I don't have friends other than Leo and Tear but they can protect themselves, and Mimi the house elf. I can't protect my friends' families even if I can protect them, let alone a lovers."

Sirius had seen the wave of loneliness in her eyes as she adverted them and returned to the dying sun. He came up and put a hand on her shoulder. Unconsciously she leaned back against him. She didn't burn for him like she did with James but she felt safe.

They were silent for a few moments before Sirius spoke softly, "we'll find a way Lily. James really care if not loves you and I can see you do to. We'll find a way." They then stood there as the sun sank below the horizon pondering what had been said.

From the doorway a pair of hazel eyes watched the two with understanding now. Now he understood why she had hesitated. But what to do about it he didn't know.

**Review **

**Chrys signing off**


	14. cy 14

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter 

_You trashed the law. But we understand. You're permitted. You have a greater responsibility than we can possibly fathom. You provide us with a blanket of Freedom. _

**A Few Good Men**

_

* * *

_

Lily examined the bracelet on her ankle. She took Salazar's words to heed and didn't take it off. Voldemort had been strangely quiet and she was suspicious. But what was the bond of Hogwarts.

The founders had explained that there was a curse caused by Gryffindor and Slythrin's moral differences and that her cousin had inherited it. She could accept that. But did this bracelet hold the key to the curse? Or to the bloodline.

"_Do not remove the bracelet at all costs. It is your key."_ What did Salazar mean by that? Was this the key to Hogwarts innate magic? She sighed and dropped her foot. Too many questions and no answers so she would fall back on the tried and true, no matter how bitterly; Wait for it to happen.

She would wait, no one knowing about the bracelet, and deal with the problems she did have some answers to. She needed to know Voldemorts next move. The founders had given her some clue as to what.

He would, in the end, go after Hogwarts, that was key. So she had to do everything possible to protect those who resided in Hogwarts. It was coming to the end of January and she was edgy.

James had heard her and Sirius' talk a couple weeks ago and she knew the assumption he had come to. For now he was avoiding her and being painfully polite which suited her fine. What she had told Sirius had been the truth, she cared for James and deeply.

She had not cared this much for someone since she had learned she loved Tom. Not that way you perverts, but like a brother, a friend. Her only remaining blood reletive. She had not let anyone close to her heart since then but James had somehow wormed his way in and was rooted there now.

She knew that no matter what he would stay there which was why his assumption that her and Sirius were, for lack of better word, dating was for the best. She may be able to protect James, and James was a powerful witch in his own right, coming from old blood, but she could not protect Anna and Henry Potter.

If they were stay at home parents then maybe, but they were Auror's and while they were out in the field, she could no more protect them than could Tear become human. She could not expose them to anymore danger than they already placed themselves in by "dating" their son. Even if she was more drawn to him than was wise.

In the end she would do what she had been doing all her life, she would sacrifice a part of herself to keep others safe. Only why did this time did she feel like she was killing herself in the process?

_

* * *

_

It was later in the evening, dinner time to be exact, when Sirius made his move. He knew what Lily had said was true, her not showing she cared in order to save his family, but they could at least be friends.

He had noticed James sulking as of late and had asked Lily. She had said he had seen the last part of their little discussion a couple weeks ago and had come to the natural assumption that they were, for the lack of better word, dating, and thus avoiding her.

All he had to do to get them back together was create a little scene. As much as he knew that she wanted to protect him, he wanted them to at least disperse some of that sexual tension. What Voldy didn't know wouldn't kill him, though he could wish.

So he nodded to Remus, who had agreed to his little plan, and Remus snapped his fingers under the table and murmered the word trigger and the Great Hall went all to hell.

_One hour later_  
_Room of Requirement_

"Those idiots planned this! I'm going to kill them myself!" James snarled as he glared at the locked door. From what the instructions read there was no way to open the door until dawn. It was 8 o'clock at night.

To say James was pissed was a understatment of majestic proportions. Lily sat on the couch facing the fire, idly sipping fizzy water from a wine glass. When he went silent she glanced up, "are you done?" He rounded on her.

"Are not even a little pissed off?" He demanded. Lily shrugged, "What is the point? We will not get out until morning and nothing in mine or your power can make that time come any sooner so we might as well make the best out of a bad deal." James sighed, she was right. He sat down beside her and both stared into the fire for a time.

Music, soothing Japanesse, floated from someplace and added a comfortable atmosphere for them. James could see her sitting beside him like this years from now. James mentally shook himself. Get a grip Potter. Your 18 and are too young to be thinking about marriage.

But the thought of her in Sirius' arms caused his stomach to burn and a bitter taste to emerge in his mouth. As if reading his thoughts she spoke the words he had been dreaming for her to say for weeks but had never really thought them true, "What you saw with me and Sirius was simple friendship James.

We are not "dating" for lack of better word, or anything of the like." James stared at her. In all of his association he had never experienced her lying to him, if you exclude a lie of ommision but that was for every bodies sake. But there was one more thing…

"Why did you wait so long to tell me?" She stared into the fire, and at first he thought she hadn't heard him but she spoke softly and he heard emotion in her voice for one of the few rare times, regret.

"We have a connection, chemistry, and both me and you know it. Its firey enough that it makes me want to throw hard earned caution to the wind. You know I have power, I have connections whether I want them or not, and enemies that make yours look like a vengeful ant.

Those three things in themselves are reasons I should not even go near you. And before you say 'but you have control over your power and can protect me through I need no protection' just as Sirius had justified, I can protect you but I cannot protect your family.

Once To-Voldemort hears of it them he will be on them hotter than bees to suger water. I won't sacrifice their lives for chemistry, no matter how hot." James had watched her and knew she was right.

Voldemort would want to hurt her in anyway in order to destroy her and to go through her lover's family would be one ideal way. But… At that moment music started to play (**_For you anime freaks(I'm one myself) the song that is going to play is Every Heart, the 4th ending season song of Inuyasha. For those who don't recognize it don't worry about it since it's in Japaneese, though I will put the English translation at the end. It sounds better in Japaneese._**) and James decided that he could at least have a dance.

_Ikutsu namida o nagashitara  
every heart__  
sunao ni nareru darou__  
Dare ni omoi tsutaetara__  
every heart__  
kokoro mita sareru no darou_

He rose and held out a hand to Lily. She looked at him, puzzled, then heard the song. Her gaze rested on his a moment before she put her hand in his.

_nagai nagai yoru ni obieteita  
Tooi hoshi ni inotteta_

The climax of the song hit just as he pulled her up and into his arms, whirling her around in time with the now fast paced music. She was so close he could smell her scent of roses. He whirled her around while she executed every move perfectly.

_meguru meguru toki no naka de  
Bokutachi wa ai o sagashiteiru__  
Tsuyoku tsuyoku naritai kara__  
kyou mo takaisora miageteiru__  
meguru meguru toki no naka de__  
boku tachi wa ikite nanika wo shiru__  
toki ni warai shugoshi naite__  
kyou mo mada aruki tsuzukete iku_

The song started to come to an end and he slowly pulled her to him, until she pressed tight against him. So as the last lyric's of the song played, he laid his mouth on hers and swept her away.

_boku tachi wa ikite nanika wo shiru  
toki ni warai shugoshi naite__  
kyou mo mada aruki tsuzukete iku_

He pulled away long enough to allow them a breath, then kissed her again, making her legs go to jelly and her mind to blur. He finally stopped and looked in her eyes, "one night Lily. Give me this one night."

She knew she should refuse but she wanted it as much as he did. "One night." It was the last thing she said before his lips locked to hers and he took her down with him to the couch.

**Sorry for such a long wait. I couldn't figure out how to continue this story. English lyrics for the song are below. Cheers!**

_If there were many tears falling down,  
Every heart would become gentle.__  
If everybody expresses what they think,__  
Every heart can be satisfied.__  
I was frightened by the never-ending night,__  
So I prayed to the distant stars._

_In endlessly repeating time_

_We were searching for love,__  
Because we wanted to become stronger.__ We look up to the faraway sky.__  
Someday our souls will unite__We will give peaceful approval.__  
In endlessly repeating time,__  
We know why we are living.__  
We go through the nighttime laughing,__  
Both of us are mourning, yet we walk on.__  
In endlessly repeating time,__ We were searching for love,__  
Because we wanted to become stronger.__  
We look up to the faraway sky.__  
We know why we are living. __  
We go through the nighttime laughing,__  
Both of us are mourning, yet we walk on._

**Review**

**Chrys signing off**


	15. cy 15

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

_ She stood in a hallway of what felt like an old Victorian house. She looked around and noted the lack of pictures, as if the family or person had just moved in. Then she heard the crack of a door being exploded and walked to the entranceway. _

_ There stood a man, wand upraised against a black-cloaked figure. She tried to yell, to warn the man to run instead of fight, but she could not emit a sound. The two figures dueled for a moment before the blacked cloaked man issued the Avada Kedavra. _

_ She silently screamed as the black haired man fell and the cloaked figure moved upstairs. She raced over to the fallen figure and fell to her knees. For the first time in the prophecy she saw the males face. _

"_No. No, no, no. It can't be you. No it can't be you James." She whispered the words, her head shaking as she stared at his lifeless body. A hand laid itself on her shoulder and she glanced back to see Salazar, his emerald eyes kind, "You and your mate will be sacrificed but not all is lost. _

_ Fight with your honor and fight with a cause or all will be lost." He disappeared as she heard a child cry and a man scream. _

* * *

Lily knew things were coming to an end. Her seventh year was dwindling down and she knew when she left she was going to have to disappear. She would miss James. She hated to admit it but that night they had shared had made her feel as if she wasn't alone in the world. 

She had no doubt as to whom her soul mate was now since her dream/premonition but she would not drag him into her troubles. Visions could be changed; she had changed many before realizing that they just affected another part in an indirect way.

She didn't want James to die, but knew even if she denied him as her soul mate that he would just die another way. It was after classes and Lily leaned up against the wall a little ways from the entrance hall. She didn't want him to die because she knew that even if she were dead her soul would ache.

A tear slipped from her closed eyes. Gods she didn't want him to die. Damn the Fates! A callused hand brushed away the tear and her eyes snapped open. James stood there, concern darkening his hazel eyes, "what's wrong Lily?"

She shook her head and fell back on what had allowed her to survive for the past 17 years. Live in the now and take the future as it came. "Nothing. Come on, let's go get some food before Sirius eats it all."

* * *

She started drawing up plans. It was the middle of May and she couldn't afford to misstep her escape by even a hair. So she drew up the plans, called some contacts, pulled a few strings, and formulated her plan. 

Voldemort was going to do something at graduation and she needed to stop it along with getting herself out of there. She knew he wouldn't be stupid enough to go himself but that didn't mean that it wouldn't be as deadly or as costly.

Sitting back in her chair she stared at the map she had created. She needed more detailed, with more passages that could be accessed in a fix. A second later she slapped her head at her stupidity.

She didn't need to make another map that was more detailed when there already was one. Going on instinct Lily left the Head Common room and went to the Gryffindor one. Going up the male staircase she opened the door.

The three (**_sorry to say that Michael Jackson and Peter broke up. It was so sad! Now Peter is depressed and vows vengeance! So he goes to the one person that will take up his cause, The Dark Lord! So what if a few lives get taken, no biggie as long as Jackson pays!_**)

Marauders were sitting in the middle of the room bent over something, Sirius only in his underwear, really skimpy gold ones that barely covered the necessities. Looking up when Lily walked right on in as if she owned the place Sirius squeaked and raced into the bathroom, slamming the door.

Remus looked up in amusement and exasperation, "you could have knocked." She shrugged, and then looked towards the bathroom door, "I will next time. Anyway, I need to copy the Marauders Map." She was met with shocked stares from Remus and James.

Sirius came out clad in a pair of low rising shorts, an equally shocked look on his face. James then rose and felt her forehead, "are you alright? I could have sworn you asked to copy a illegal magical item that should be confiscated."

Lily sent him a withering look that he met with a grin. She turned and looked at the three and sighed. It would be easier if she had help. She sat down in a spot that used to occupy the now missing Peter Pettigrew and looked at them all, "look, Voldemort is planning something for graduation.

He's not going to be stupid enough to come here himself but all hell is going to break out then. I'm going to place an advancement charm to make sure no one's killed. I have a route out but I need a backup.

I may know many passages in this school that you do not but I don't have the time to explore them all to see if they've caved in, been cursed, occupied, known of, etc… So I need the Marauders Map so I have a back up.

I'm going to have to disappear. Voldemort is going to be after me the moment I leave the protection of Hogwarts. I have a place to go and something's to set up but I have to ensure no one is killed here first."

The three seemed to ponder what she said for a while then looked up, "you are going to include us in on this are you not?" Remus asked, deadly serious. Lily shrugged, "I have no choice do I? I need your resources and your help wouldn't be shunned either.

But I first have to ask, what are you all willing to risk? If you help me and are found out you are signing your own death pact. This could mean your family," she looked at James, "your secret," she looked at Remus, "or your soul." She looked at Sirius, "if you help me then you could lose all of those. I have one thing left to lose and that is my life but are you all willing to risk this?"

They had paled at the scenario she had proposed but thought about it. Nodding slowly they returned their eyes to her, blue, black, and hazel. She took a breath, "then there is something yall will need to help me with. It's a secret organization called the Order of the Phoenix…"

* * *

James waited for patrols to be over. When he and Lily entered the common room he stopped her with a hand on her shoulder, "I'm coming with you." She turned, "no. Your needed here-" "you saw me in the prophecy didn't you? That's why you're so keen on keeping me at a distance, to keep me alive." 

She looked away but he had seen the answer in her eyes, "I'm going to die one way or another Lily, let me die protecting you." She stared sightlessly ahead of her for a while. James had begun to think she had not heard when she sighed, "you're right but dammit James this is more than your family, your own death, it could mean your soul!

This means no after life, no Fields of Asphodel, no heaven, whatever you want to call it. You will cease to exist James, that is the fate I face. If you come with me you bear that fate as well."

James looked at her. Her eyes for once showed emotion, despair. If he had any doubt about the prophecy they evaporated at the distress in her eyes. He lowered his head and kissed her, feeling her relax degree by degree in his arms.

She was made for him and he knew no other would ever do. He lifted his head, "I don't care Lily. As long as I'm with you for as long as I live I will be happy." She sighed and let her head rest on his shoulder, "alright.

We'll tell Sirius and Remus tomorrow and they will inform Dumbledore after all of this. But dammit James I wish you weren't so damn stubborn." He chuckled as he led her to her dorm, "now where would that leave me if I weren't Tiger Lily?"

She sighed as he closed the door behind them, "alive." He shook his head, "life would be worthless without you. I would rather die than live a life like that. Come on, you need to sleep." He drew her robes and such off and joined her in the bed.

She curled into him and he tightened his arm around her. As long as he had her he didn't give a damn if the world went up in flames around them. Then again, it might just do that when this all came to an end.

**One more chapter after this! **

**Review**

**Chrys**


	16. cy 16

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter**

* * *

"At last it is the end of the year and we say good-bye to some only to see them again at the end of the summer, while others leave to make their mark in the world, muggle or Wizarding. 

You stand before me now because you have passed the challenges laid upon you by both your teachers and yourselves. Now you graduate from Hogwarts and go out into the world in this time of war.

Some we will never see again past this day. Some will leave a mark so deep on the world today, it will forever be known. Know this.

Now you leave this safe haven and now you will fight. Some will lose their lives while some will lose everything. Just always remember what you are fighting for. With that knowledge you will never fall."

* * *

Lily looked up at the sky as Dumbledore completed his speech and started calling names. The advance charm was laid, the Marauders were waiting for her signal, Leo and Tear were already at the safe house, and had sent Petunia the last letter she would get from Lily.

Lily took a breath and looked at Hogwarts. This would probably be the last time she saw it and she knew she would miss it. But like Dumbledore had said, her time here was done and it was time to leave her mark on both worlds.

"Evans, Lily" was called out so similarly like her first day here she had to smile. She walked proudly up and bowed to the audience, taking her band. She placed it on her wand tip and it merged with the wood, creating a scarlet and gold band to show she had graduated from Hogwarts, the house of Gryffindor.

As clearly as the day when he had spoken to her, she heard Godric Gryffindor's words resonate in her head as she stepped off the podium, "_do you take on the task so many others have failed and will break the curse we have placed on Hogwarts?"_ I do, she thought silently. And I will win.

She had only a split second warning. She spun around and sent out an earsplitting whistle. The Marauders knew their signal. Dementors and death eaters swept into the area. People screamed while others drew their wands. They never got the chance to use them though.

At the whistle Remus had activated her charm. A golden net was flung out into the chaos. The dementors were unhindered but the death eaters were frozen unable to move. James and Lily both turned their wands onto the crowd and cried in unison, "_Expecto Patronum_!" A stag and a panther dove into the foray, killing dementors with a single but of horns or a bite from vicious teeth.

James and Lily ran then, as fast as they could, into the castle. Lily gave a nod to Sirius, who had waited. He immediately went to help Remus hold the barrier and trap the remaining death eaters.

Using the Marauders Map they found that their first route of entry was guarded so they went to their back up, a set of stones in a part of the dungeons that were never used. Finding it, Lily stepped back and pointed her wand, "_Elimora_".

The stones shifted apart to reveal a tunnel the couple knew led to a small cottage deep in the Forbidden Forest, well out of range of Hogwarts. When they got out of the tunnel she and James would Apparate to a spot Lily knew was safe.

Before closing the mirror, though, she looked back at the dingy dungeons and sighed. James took her hand and they just stared for a moment. "I'll miss it." Lily finally said. James nodded, "so will I but one day we'll see it again. Its almost inevitable."

Lily chuckled and slipped the Marauders Map into one of the tiny crevices in the dungeon wall and with James, she ran into the darkness as the stones slid back into place as if they had never moved.

Many, many years later, two red headed twins would find the Map and create havoc of their own, just as the Marauders had in their time.

* * *

The chaos had died down and Dumbledore wanted to know what the hell was going on. He had noticed Lily's and another's Patronus' and the golden net of a very advanced charm to hold evil in place.

So now he went to the two who had held the net. "You two mind telling me what happened and where are Miss Evans and Mr. Potter?" Remus and Sirius looked at each other and nodded, "we'll you see Professor Lily knew something was coming…"

The three walked on as they explained everything Lily had told them to, to Dumbledore. All three had things to do before the next wave hit.

_6 Months Later _

_A dingy bar in Merlin knows where_

About twenty wizards and witches sat in a bar waiting to hear about a secret organization that had been gaining power. This supposed organization had made massive attacks on Voldemort and was responsible for the capture of key members of Voldemort's army.

At that moment Sirius Black, one of the wizards who had recruited them, stood at the head of the group and waited for silence. All eyes turned to him as he began to speak,

"I am glad you all have been able to make it here in these dark times. Before I go on I want to warn you, if you are not willing to take the risk of having your soul taken, your family murdered, your own body tortured beyond belief, leave now and go to the Ministry.

The Order of the Phoenix is on the front lines of the war against Voldemort. We do things that the Ministry does not have the manpower, magic, or guts to do. By the end of the year, of all the people in this room, one third will be dead; another third will be in St. Mungo's for insanity, paralysis, or grievous wounds.

You could be captured by Voldemort and tortured, used under the Imperious Curse, or other various means of dark magic. If you are not willing to face all that leave now."

No one moved. All had lost something to Voldemort and wanted to do something about it, even if they lost their souls. Albus Dumbledore and Alastar Moody sat in the back and regarded Sirius, "he's not the head of this."

Alastar said quietly as Sirius warned them one last time. Dumbledore shook his head, "he is not but we are going to find out who is soon enough." After seeing no one leave even after his second warning Sirius smiled grimly, "alright then I guess its time you meet the leader of the Order of the Phoenix."

Instead of saying who it was, Sirius stepped aside as two dark cloaked figures walked into the bar. Coming to the podium they drew off their hoods and gasps of recognition came within the room.

"Hello. It's a pleasure to meet you all. My name is Lily Potter and I am the leader of the Order of the Phoenix. I guess Sirius neglected to mention you would be working under someone who is probably a whole lot younger than you.

Again, if none of these terms agree with you, please leave now because that choice will not be available to you after this meeting." Again no one moved. Lily smiled, "I'm sure you all know my husband, James Potter, and the other original members of the Order, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin."

Those whose names had been spoken nodded. Lily grew serious, "Now Sirius has briefed you and it is time to see what you can do and the best good you'll do where. Come to the podium and name your specific talent and I will place you with a mission and team."

People queued up to the podium and Dumbledore smiled, "and so this war really begins." He stared up at the red head and her husband and knew that this was only the beginning of a long time of bloodshed.

**The End…For Now**

**There will be a sequel to this…as soon as I re-read the series again. It will take place in Harry's era after the 6th book. But I need to come up with an outline for it and re-read the books. So no guarantees when there will be a sequel but there will be one.**

**Review**

**Chrys**


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